2012 Other Boys Squad

1. Trevor Stemm

Hometown: Brooklyn Park, MN
Previous club:

A suavely modern, shot-stopping and counter-attack springing, goalkeeper, Stemm is supremely balanced, impeccable, imperturbable, frictionless. In short, the ideal net minder.

25. Joe Waln

Hometown: St Paul, MN
Previous club:

His passing and work-rate makes touch-the-sky performance accessible to even the most talentless of teammates but, this being the SOBs and his teammates being exceptional players, Waln’s efforts put him at the center of a smoothly oiled machine, scoring goals as drama-free as a quickie Vegas divorce.

29. Pat Campbell

Hometown: Sun Prairie, WI
Previous clubs: Dominoes FC

English teams at the turn of the century would have considered including a player like Pat Campbell as reasonable as wearing a bejeweled codpiece to work. These days, a flair player like Campbell is critical and devastating to opposition defenses.

31. Yohann Charlet

Hometown: Rennes, France
Previous clubs: Montfort FC

Tauter, tougher and more purposeful than most wingers, Charlet is a deadly cross between David Ginola the soccer player and David Ginola the French heartthrob.

32. Tom Trachtman

Hometown: Indianapolis, IN
Previous club: Dynamo FC

Such a challenging opponent to play against that many vanquished defenders have been overheard muttering about giving up soccer for a girl sport like American football or interpretive dance.

33. Hector Diaz

Hometown: Asturias, Spain
Previous club:

As the stereotypical Spaniard does, Diaz typically spins geometrically satisfying passing patterns ranged as tightly as Nikki Six’s leather pants.

35. Rob Manley

Previous club:

Manley’s eyes seem to glower from under his bald pate, glowering with desire and a glinting with expectation. Why? Because he expects to score and pretty much always does.

40. Colin Quinn

Hometown: Rinteln, Germany
Previous club: SV Rohrau

Like the best of German soccer players, Quinn isn’t joking around. He is a straight faced, serious and ice cold player whose concentration is tethered to the task at hand with magic.

41. Alex Vo

Hometown: Brooklyn Park, MN
Previous club:

With his low center of gravity and Soyuz rocket-like acceleration, Vo slips silently as a dagger into triple digit speed and warps past defenders to bare down on goal. He’s so lethal that he should come with his own lawyer.

42. Mike Geak

Hometown: Brooklyn Park, MN
Previous club: Kickers SC

Geak has a wonderful, architectural-quality to his passing and a fare-the-well buccaneering approach to defense that keeps his opposition on the back foot and recalls Cafu at his most potent.

44. Ilijas Zimic

Hometown: Minnetonka, MN
Previous club: BH United

If you threw a kettleball across a gym, you would know how the kettleball feels simple by playing against the raw physicality of Zimic. It is an experience that few defenders wish to repeat.

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