Legends leave soccer clubs. They leave in calm and contentious circumstances, of their own choosing or against their will, by retirement or by transfer. Supporters know this. And in the case of Sebastian Castro-Malaspina, whose two years at the club were more than enough to make him a legend, they knew it was going to happen.
Today, the club announced that the burly French-Peruvian-American would be returning to New Jersey’s 6th Borough FC.
“We were able to extend his loan last year” said club Chairman Dan Hoedeman “but that was as much as we could do. We’ll miss Sebastian, not just for his ability as a player but for what he did for team spirit and cohesion. And his ability to motivate Dan Warner.”
Castro-Malaspina made 32 appearances for the Blues, scoring an impressive five times from a defensive position.
“Seabass is an excellent player” said Jon Bisswurm “good close control, surprising closing speed and strength and power. He did great work at the back or in the center of the park and we’ll be hard pressed to replace him. He also gave George his epic nickname and for that we will always be grateful.”
Castro-Malaspina struggled to hold back tears as he announced his departure from the club.
“I know you said no assholes allowed, but I appreciate the club breaking the rules for me. I’ve had a great experience and leave Minneapolis today with fond memories and a new group of friends that I will stay in touch with. What the founders have built is nothing short of amazing – especially given that the club is so new. I hope that players, supporters and club members appreciate all the work that has gone into it.
Also, I’m sorry if I was mean to anyone. I really just want to win (yes, I know, that’s only half an apology).
Best of luck to the team, to the club and to the fans.”
After breaking down in an emotional heap and revived by smelling salts, Castro-Malaspina continued.
“I have had so many incredible memories.
10. Robbie Peichel kicking a kid in the face while the same dude was being pinned down by multiple SOBs (on the sidelines of a league match)
9. Last year’s AGM and the adult activity that happened afterward (too bad the rest of you got kicked out)
8. Winning the 2011 SOB Cup in the freezing cold
7. Dave Tesch falling down drunk and breaking down the fencing at the 2011 SOB Cup
6. Missing the tying goal from a couple of yards out against the Bavarians (sorry guys)
5. Sitting on Holger’s puke in Des Moines (is that puke, bro?)
4. The private tour of Livestrong Park
3. Warner trying to make out with the coked out girl at The Local during St Patrick’s Day
2. Sean scoring from about 25 yards out after the other team challenged him to shoot from outside and he yelled back “that’s why you don’t let me fucking shoot!”
1. George’s nickname: